


A is for...

by Ultra



Series: Lost in Space [8]
Category: Firefly
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Drunkenness, F/M, Gen, Implied Relationships, Lies, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-26
Updated: 2011-07-01
Packaged: 2020-02-26 18:50:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18722881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra
Summary: River's alibi for Jayne might not save him so much as get him spaced... but is it even true?





	1. A is for Alibi

**Author's Note:**

> originally written for revdorothyl on LiveJournal as part of a prompt meme.

“You got a good explanation for not bein’ where you was supposed to be?” asked Mal angrily, getting right up in Jayne’s face.

He was ninety-nine percent sure why the merc hadn’t been there in town to have his and Zoe’s back on their job last night, pretty sure it had something to do with that bottle of hooch he’d been made a gift of on their last stop, not least because he looked so out of it this morning, he had to have got plenty drunk the night before.

“Well, Mal... y’see, I was...” He waved his arm in a vague gesture, before bringing his fingers to the bridge of his nose, feeling another wave of sickness comin’.

With his head down, Jayne didn’t have a notion he and the Cap’n weren’t no longer alone in the cargo bay, and it seemed he didn’t notice neither til she was right there beside them.

“Captain Daddy shouldn’t scold the Jayne-Man,” said River so suddenly she made both men jump. “She was his distraction, not his fault.”

“You stopped him from comin’ out last night?” asked Mal, one eyebrow raised as he looked suspiciously between the odd pair. “What’d you do, Lil ‘Tross? Tie him down?”

“At one point, yes,” she said, hiding her face behind her hair as she blushed profusely. “She apologises if the Captain’s plans were spoilt, though the goods were won and no injuries sustained,” she noted.

“That... that ain’t even the point,” Mal told her, closing his eyes a second as if trying to regain his bearings. “River, mei mei, I’m still not understanding...”

“Sexual intercourse,” she said plainly, making Jayne look up so suddenly he almost knocked himself over with the force, though said not a word as River kept on looking at Mal and talking things he hadn’t a notion of. “She is woman and pleasing to the eyes of men. She finds the Jayne-man’s form appealing, and so following the consuming of fermented vegetable drinks, they copulated... many times, in many different positions.”

Mal’s eyes went comically wide a moment, as he almost literally covered his ears with his hands. 'Twas bad enough over-hearing Kaylee talk in giggles to ‘Nara about things she and the doc got up to ‘neath the engine of his vessel, last thing he needed was to know his Albatross was getting sexed up by Jayne of all folks!

“I can’t... I can’t know this!” he said, holding up his hands in some kind of surrender.

“You asked,” River pointed out, even as her Captain made for the stairs and went on up.

“I ain’t ever askin’ again!” he said definitely just as he disappeared from sight.

Jayne recovered from his shock the very next second, looking across at River who stared after the Captain with a smile still playing at her lips.

“Thanks,” he muttered. “For savin’ my ass. Almost thought you was tryin’ to get me spaced but... if I’d’a missed a job again, and from gettin’ wasted, Mal woulda turned me off this boat for sure.” He shook his head, “’Preciate ya lyin’ for me, Crazy.”

River never flinched as she turned his way, the grin on her lips never wavering.

“I never lie to my Captain,” she said seriously, before dancing away out of sight.

Jayne stared after her with his mouth open wide as a black hole.

Just how drunk had he gotten last night?!


	2. A is also for Awareness, Acceptance, and Arriving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally written for goddessofbirth on LiveJournal as part of a prompt meme.

It had to have been some kind of dream brought on by all the hooch he'd drunk, that’s what Jayne figured when forced to think on what River had said. He coulda said she was making the whole thing up, some of witchy tricks and messin' with people minds and all. She was crazy as crazy could be, that was somethin' everybody could agree on, so it weren't a stretch to think she made up the whole thing just for the sake o' doin' it.

Trouble came when Jayne started to recall things, pictures running through his head that he had no control over.

She brushed past him in the corridor, the smell of girly shampoo and such assaulting his nose, bringing up still shots in his mind, like captures moving fast - his hands in her hair, skin against skin.

He watched her practise moves that could've been dancin' or fightin' depending on how you took them, and suddenly he recalled the feeling of those long legs wrapped around his waist, nails digging in his back.

Her voice came over the comm, telling the crew they was in for a bumpy ride, but Jayne heard different words inside his head, his name bein' yelled and pleas for more.

Started to become clearer all the time to Jayne that he couldn't've dreamed all this, weren't possible. It had to have happened, he had to have been with the crazy girl, and piece by piece the memory of it was coming back to him as his hangover faded with time.

The fact Mal seemed to believe what River had said and yet had not spaced Jayne for the trouble was confusing, made the merc worry some that he missed something, but at the same time, playin' the situation to his advantage seemed like the best idea.

Weren't as if he was blind, like he hadn't noticed the girl was as hot as she was moon-brained. She came willing to his bed the night before, hell, could almost be said she took advantage of Jayne more'n the other way around given he was barely recalling the time even now.

"She feels she cheated him," she said as he descended the ladder to his bunk and turned to find her sat there on his own bed. "Unfair for him to not recall their time together, when she found such pleasure." She smiled in such a way as Jayne remembered just a little more of their night spent together.

"Verse is an unfair kind of a place, ain't it?" He smirked back at her. "Folks oughta do what they can to fix that."

"Agreed." River nodded once as she stood up from the bed and met Jayne in the middle of the room. "She is due to meet her guh-guh, but does not want such tests," she explained. "If she does not arrive, will Jayne-man be her alibi?"

"Anything you want, girly," he told her as he swept her up off her feet. "But you arrivin’ ain’t gonna be a problem," he leered, making her laugh just briefly before the world fell away.


End file.
